I have tried to figure something out that absolutely amazes me. In fact, I don’t think there is an answer for it. It is one of the wonders of the world that escapes the answers of the wisest of men. What is it? Women and purses.
I just don’t get it. They have blue ones. They have gray ones. They have blue ones with gray. They have ones with pockets. They have ones without pockets. They have one that goes with only one dress (that they haven’t worn in seven years). Is there an answer to the madness?
I’ve given it some deep thought and I know the answer. It’s because they’re messing with our (the men’s) mind. It’s a psychology tactic to get us to go insane. It’s part of a mastermind to get us to go crazy. If you think about it, there is no need for it.
They only need two purses. One gray one and one black one. Those two colors will go with everything. Each purse should have plenty of pockets on the outside. One of the pockets needs a big “C” imprinted on it so they’ll know that’s where the cell phone is, so they can answer it before it quits ringing.
As a guy, I have one wallet. Everything I need is in that wallet; my debit card, my credit card, my insurance card, and some folded up receipts that I don’t why they’re still in there. That’s all I need. I don’t need a piece of luggage to carry with me everywhere I go. Every day is not a trip. If I go on a trip, I’ll take my luggage. Otherwise, I leave it at home.
Now, after saying all of that, I want to make sure and mention the things that guys need that are in a totally different category. In fact, it is in no way related to the purse example I have eloquently explained above. It’s a totally different category.
Cell Phone: Every one to two years, we HAVE to get a new cell phone. It’s not that we want it. It’s that technology has so drastically changed that we won’t be able to communicate unless we update. As we get older, our eyes are not as good as they used to be so we need a bigger screen. As our music collection grows, we need more space to keep it on the phone. We also need more apps so that we can be more productive in our days.
Cars: It’s an absolute must to upgrade cars every so often. We don’t “want” a new yellow Transformers Edition Camaro. We “need” it. It is the most advanced piece of machinery on earth. By having Bumblebee with us everywhere we go, we are ensuring the safety of our loved ones and ourselves. You never know when Megatron will show up and try to blow up the world. We HAVE to have the yellow Special Edition Camaro. It’s a must.
Gadgets: I could have detailed it more, but “gadgets” covers a lot of necessities that guys need. For the sake of time, I’ll mention one: A solar charger for our cell phones. What if the world entered World War III and we couldn’t charge our cell phones. What would we do? In comes the solar powered cell phone charger. It doesn’t matter that we never go camping and that we’re always close to a wall outlet. It’s all about preparation. We NEED this in order to protect ourselves and our families. We may need to call Optimus Prime in case Bumblebee get’s hurt. We’ve got to have this.
TV’s: Every few years, technology has a major breakthrough that shifts the entire world. What is it? The overall size and thickness of flatscreen TV’s. As they get wider and thinner, we HAVE to upgrade. Sports is how many men communicate. We don’t ask about the weather. We don’t ask about the news. We ask “Did you see that game Saturday?”. Therefore, in order to talk business with other men, we have to see every aspect of sports.
Here’s a hidden tip: The TV screen only shows part of the action. It limits what you can see. Therefore, in order to see what is outside of the screen and out of view, we HAVE to get a bigger TV.